Shit

I think I might have made a huge mistake. I'm surprised it slipped by for this long, hmmmmm....I might have some fixing to do...

When I'm sad, upset or alone I think about you and it cheers me up. I've been smiling a lot more lately because I am excited about our plans and for everything else in store for us.

Its crazy to think that this is the beginning.

Closer

Too many great things have happened lately. Now is definitely not the time to become lethargic. I'm still trying to be the best at everything I do, and just because amazing things have been falling into place for me lately doesn't take away from the fact that I am always gonna push myself to be the best. Right now I'm focused on being the best person, friend, musician, son/brother, tax auditor [uugghhh...] and boyfriend I can possibly be.

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit."

- Aristotle

We Move Like Swing-Sets

SADNESS/NOSTALGIA

When people ask about who I’m close with, I always say that I have three best friends. Of these three, the person I am closest with is definitely Brian Paul Robles. I remember meeting him for the first time; never in a million years would I have thought that I would became best friends with this guy. Just like all my other friends, Brian is a complete 180 from me, but we’ve always managed to meet each other in the middle. Over the last 3 years we have shared the craziest adventures and have learned each other’s deepest, darkest secrets.

Whether it was housing for the Winter because I wasn’t on speaking terms with my parents, or saving me at multiple parties when I would get too drunk, or even when you would be an unbiased friend and give me the cold-hard truth when I would fuck up, you have definitely been an amazing friend. Sometimes I feel like I never did enough for you as you did for me. Even though I may not have verbalized it as much, I definitely appreciate you and am sad to see you leave.

Yesterday was his last day in the area, and its weird knowing that he isn’t a drive away. I know one day soon our paths will cross again….hopefully he moves up to San Jose or maybe I’ll find myself in Los Angeles. Either way, I don’t think this is the end. It’s just an interlude.

REDISCOVERY/DEDICATION

I have rediscovered a lot of people that used to play an important role in my life lately. It’s a great feeling….not just catching up from point A to point B but actually spending more time with people that used to be (and still are) important. I definitely don’t plan on slipping out of your lives again.

EXCITEMENT/HOPE

What more can I say about you? I don’t know if you read my entries, but in case you do you should know me enough by now to realize that I have no problem saying these kinds of things to your face. This is just posted as a time stamp, so that one day I can look back and see that as of 08/29/2010, I still don’t know YOU.

You told me the other day to read the prelude of one of your favorite books, and that if I liked it I would definitely like the book itself. There is so much a person can gain from a prelude, such as whether or not they like the author’s writing style or themes or characters. I feel like the last month was my prelude of you, and even though I still don’t know YOU, I know a lot of things I like about you. I like the fact that we can talk about music for hours and that you are one of the few people that can introduce me to new artists that I will actually like. I like that you are a huge nerd and, as you would say, “Feel the compelling and urgent need to craft sentences containing unnecessarily complicated vocabulary during inappropriate settings”. I like the fact that if I have a horrible day at work I have something to look forward to when I get to take you out to dinner later in the day. I like the fact that you make me smile, even when you are not in the room.

You definitely have me hooked. I’m very excited to see what happens next.

As the days go by I'm finding more reasons to like/appreciate/respect you.

Untitled.

We don't have scripts and we sure as hell aren't improvising. Still, this all seems cinematic and I'm playing back my favorite scenes over and over and over and over.

I can't stop smiling.

I'm enjoying every second of this.

Life-Like-Saccharine , Pt. II

Are you listening?

I don’t ever want to collect dust. Ancora Imparo; every person that has come and gone through my life has taught me something. Some of the best lessons in life are learned the hard way. I learned a lot about what I want in life through the people who have come and gone. Regardless if they left quietly in the middle of the night or if they left slamming the front door, I am slowly learning more about myself and what I really want and deserve. Sometimes leaving hurts.

God, it used to STING.

This time around it didn’t hurt at all, and I’m sorry you didn’t get to have the satisfaction of knowing that.

Shit, being the bigger person is tough. Your stretched-out half-truths are hurtful, but maybe thats the way you heal? I guess knowing the truth of how things unraveled gives me some sort of solace. I'm really happy right now with life in general and am really excited about what might be around the corner...I don't need to heal. If dragging my name through the dirt helps you through these hard times, then chain me up tight and slam your foot against the damn pedal. When you are done, let me know...I will be more than happy to unwrap the chains and be your friend.

All I ask it that you help me get the dirt off.