Boiled Frogs - An Open Letter

The term "boiled frogs" refers to someone or something being a victim of slow and gradual change. Kinda random, but let me explain. During the late 19th century in London, scientists in performed experiments on different animals to see how they each would react to dangerous situations. Scientists put a frog in boiling water and noted that, shortly after the frog was dropped into the pot, the frog would leap out and onto the floor in the blink of an eye. However, if a frog was put in room-temperature water and the pot was slowly heated, the frog would not be able to adapt to the change and slowly boil to death.

This is analogous to my life and yours. How has change treated you lately? The temperature is rising, the water is boiling, and every day is, in some way/shape/form, another day living in complacency and docility. Our bodies are like atlases, and our veins are like roadways, bridges, and rivers....so let's chart our paths and find a way out before we burn to death. I'm ready when you are.

Coronation

I got into a philosophical music arguement with a few coworkers today on Michael Jackson's legacy. Its obvious he was a creep, but I think thats what happens to all musical legends (see Phil Spector and his recent escapades). Regardless, yesterday the world witnessed the passing of a legend and probably one of the most influential musical figures we will witness in our lifetime.

To keep this short, I think a lot of people base MJ's career off of a handful of songs (Beat It, Thriller, Billie Jean, Bad, Black And White, etc). I will admit, everything he made after Thriller was complete garbage. If you just look at Off The Wall and Thriller (a perfect album), that should be enough credentials to make you a musical legend in itself. Almost every song off of these two albums are amazing, and you all should listen to them.

The Last 4 Years, In 1000 Words Or Less (or Highways To Nowhere, Pt. II)

If its cool with you, lets cut the cutesy introduction and get right into the meat-and-potatoes of this entry.

The last four years of my life have been, hands down, the best four years of my life. Alot of people come into college thinking that they are paying tuition to learn about mathematics, sentence syntax, physics, and the philosophies of men who have been dead for thousands of years. I think people miss out on the opportunities to grow and reinvent themselves. The man I am today is 10x wiser, stronger, clever, and sexier than the boy coming into college not knowing how to do his own laundry.

I had a lot of regrets in high school. Coming into college, I had the mindset that I wanted to make the most out of my time in Santa Cruz. 

I did.

And I can say that I am graduating with no regrets this time around.

I don't mean to brag, but I'm graduating with a damn high cumulative GPA and, unlike a lot of graduates this year (unfortunately), have a great job that I am starting at in 6 days. I resurrected an organization that was on the verge of extinction and have put it on track to becoming a campus powerhouse in a matter of 1-2 years. I was hired as a CA, which saved my mom the stress of working 2 jobs.  

Over the last 4 years, I've had my share of horrible friends. Sometimes their actions and words weren't really thorns in my side but knives carved in my back. I know some people still question why I left so abruptly, but I guess thats for them to keep pondering if they haven't figured it out yet. The past is the past, and although I am not a religious man, I thank God every day for leading me to real friends and people I can see myself getting old, fat, and happy with. I know that Sigma Lambda Beta was the right choice for me because it led me to meeting my best friend, Brian. If you ever wonder why I work so hard for my Fraternity, its because of this. A true friendship is hard to come by, and I am thankful that our organization helped us meet.

Over the last 4 years, I've also had my share of heartbreaks. This is taboo for guys to talk about, but I am really comfortable with it now. I came to college in a three year relationship that ended very ugly. The women I've dated from freshman year until about a few weeks ago have been for my better and worse. My four years have culminated into meeting the amazing girl I am with right now. I can't think of a better way of ending this chapter of my life then meeting her and transitioning into a newer, exciting chapter. From now until my graduation, if you see me on campus or around town and I have a huge smile on my face or I'm very upbeat, its not because I'm leaving or because I found a job. She's the one responsible for it. I am happy because she makes me happy, and I am upbeat because I am excited about all the time we are going to spend with each other during Summer.

I never really wanted to leave Santa Cruz, but I definitely feel that my time here needs to come to an end. As a kid, I always fantasized about being young, wealthy, and happy while living in a big city. I guess my dreams are coming true, as I am moving to San Jose in a matter of weeks. I always thought this part of my life would be scared...I don't really know how I feel. If anything, I feel colossal; I want to hit the ground running and make a name for myself in San Jose. 

Give it 10 years. Maybe 15 years tops, and San Jose will be renamed San Ricardo. Trust.

Mental Note.

Dear mom: when I grow up, I promise I will never speak to my wife the way dad talks to you. 

"There are no mistakes. The events we bring upon ourselves, no matter how unpleasant, are necessary in order to learn what we need to learn; whatever steps we take, they're necessary to reach the places we've chosen to go."   -Richard Bach

Highways to Nowhere. Pt. I

(from my personal journal: 2/11/2009)

She came into my workplace with a baby in her arm and a newborn in a stroller. I forget what her driver's license said, but she must have been in her early 50's or so; the bags under her eyes were in full bloom and the wrinkles on her face were like highways on a road map, leading to nowhere. Her hair was slowly turning into a web of gray. If you could personify stress, indignation, and unfortunate, this would be the person standing before you. I don't remember her name, and her words were in a language I couldn't understand. Regardless, she changed my life forever.

All she brought was 6 W2 forms, her last year's tax return paperwork, and an eviction notice from her landlord. It turns out that this woman's husband passed away 3 years ago and is taking care of 4 children and 2 grandchildren (who, by this time, are chewing up my pens and pencils and mixing up my paperwork). In one year, she worked 6 jobs to bring in less than $12,000 for the year.

Her coat had a strong, pungent smell of poverty. Her fingernails were yellow like an old book's pages and had dirt under them. She was missing a handful of teeth. 

With a few keystrokes and a spanish-english dictionary, I'm able to get her enough of a tax return to keep her apartment. To feed her grandchildren for a few more weeks. Maybe even to buy herself new shoes since it hurts for her to walk 2 miles to the canneries to work.

After the good news, she starts crying and whispers something to me that I don't understand, and takes off. 

I still don't know her name, but I thought about her a lot today and about her life and lifestyle, which is why I decided to write this entry. If I meet her again, I have so many questions for her and I would really want to share with her that she gave me a personal epiphany and taught me an important life lesson:

The most privileged people in our world have the most responsibility. It just so happens that the most privileged tend to be the least responsible.

This last month has, for the most part, been my luckiest 30 days of my life. I feel like something is watching over me and making sure that everything goes my way. I always was really skeptical about luck and thought karma was really what decided how the cards are dealt...but lately, I haven't been a saint and things have been going great for me.

At the same time, I'm still really scared that my luck is going to run out and I'm going to deal with misfortunes ahead. Just like life and death, the seasons, and the tides, I have a personal theory that luck for MOST people is just a cycle.  Lady Luck is infatuated with me, but tomorrow I could wake up alone in bed and left to deal with misfortunes again - I just hope she doesn't wake me up when she closes the door.

For now, though, everything in my life is AMAZING. I'm just juiced to get out of Santa Cruz and move to the city. I've grown so much in SC and have met amazing people, but this chapter in my life is coming to an end, and I can't wait to start the new one.

A Crash Course Into Real Life

Somehow, miraculously, I was hired with the California Franchise Tax Board to be a tax auditor for their Partnerships division. I'll be working out of their San Jose offices, which is AMAZING because my office is gonna be in downtown San Jose right off of Santa Clara Street. Ever since I got the job offer, my life has been crazy. Aside from all of the shit I do at school, I have to:

1. Book hotel rooms for my training in July in Sac and SJ

2. Buy a car (I got $10,000 to drop)

3. Find housing

4. Buy shit for my new place

Because of all of this shit that just fell on my place, I had to cancel with Gadgetbox and lost my deposit for studio time. I guess in a way its cool because I get to refine all of the parts I wrote so far, and I want to write a few songs in different dropped tunings (possibly a really heavy drop A song in the works?). 

Anyways, I guess everything worked out in the end. I was able to find a job in a recession/depression and I'm still in the area, so I still can come out to Santa Cruz and kick it.

Things are really exciting right now, but I'm still really sad that I don't have much time left in Santa Cruz...